Bitterness

before...in my previous life,i could say for my self that i was a bitter man...i had no money,at least as much as i needed...and don't get me wrong..i still don't have as much as i need it's just,now...it would be rude of me to just say''i don't have money''...considering all the poverty in the world...any way...no money,no propper job,no solid realtionship...i was a mess...but we all are aren't we..

of course...that kind of seeing my self made me a bitter man...always complaining about stuff,making excuses for everything...why can't i have this,or that....mess!

ok...years went by,i stopped beeing a bitter bich...but i still like to analyse what's that that makes people bitter...i mean...ok.now i live in a better place,have some kind of a decent job,and it's not realy a great one but it's a job,i got married to a girl i've been after for a buch of years...but i still have a million stuff to be bitter about anyway...

what i think...is that one of the greatest ways to get bitter is when you decide to become somebody else...and what the fuck do i ´mean by that...

well...do you know how do you develope love for a certain things..at least i do like that...you start doing a few things that you feel interest for...let say..it's singing,playing piano and fishing...as the time goes by...you realise that at some of this stuff you're good,at some you're ok and at some you just suck....

so when you do fishing you just do it great...everytime you go there you have a great catch,a few guys out there already admire you and you start even sharing your techniques with others,they start listen for what you have to say...so it's great...

piano thing...njaaaaaa...it's ok,but it's not as far as smooth as fishing...you can play a bit but you're no chopin or anything...so you are mabey little bit below averige,but it's fine...

finaly..your singing sucks...you have a lousy voice,you have no feeling for rythmics,you can not hit the right notes...you just not good...

so what do you do...well you become a pashionate about fishing...you dedicate most of your free time to it,and you feel great,look great...and everythings works for you perfectly...every now and then you play a piano...just a couple of songs,and that's it...and you stop singing totaly,and when you wanna hear a good singing you just play mariah or freddy...

and there you go...you are a happy individual,satisfied with your life,and you just enjoy yourself...right...well yeah if it wasn't that fucking thing that completly fucks you up....and you know what that thing is....A FUCKIN PRICE TAG...yeah...

even though you are great at fishing...you don't wanna be a fisherman...because it doesn't bring you a lot of money,for exampel...or not a lot of people find you interesting beeing a fisherman...and what do you want...well that's the shitty part...you want a fuckin approval from your envirement...you want people to constantly tell you how good you are,and to be liked by people..and you see some good singers having all that every fuckin day...so what do you do...you give away your dreams,and stuff you were good at..and start running after a singing carreer...

you start,looking for some conections,false recomendations,just to show up once on some big event,because you think that somehow people will start loving you..but the truth is...they never will...becouse you know why...BECAUSE YOU CAN'T FUCKIN SING...

doesn't matter how great their lives are...it's not you..and it sure the shit ain't your life..you are a fisherman...that's who you are..that's your talent,that's what you're good at...and doesn't matter how un-cool that might be...that's all there is...that's the only aspect in your life that you can actualy make some sort of progress...and progress will make you a happier man..and constant failure as a singer will make you...you know what????

A BITTER FUCKIN' MAN!