I talked to my friend recently about Sweden,about how we live our lives over here and stuff...
He happens to be a black guy that was born in another European country and he didn’t sound very happy about Sweden!
So ok,me I’m pretty happy here but since I lived in Sweden for over ten years I feel I am in a way a small part of this country and therefore I feel I can have an opinion of my own and even try to make things better if possible.
Not like I can do shit to change a lot but still..to me every opinion and idea is a change...so
His first thing that possesses him was and still is the fact that everybody asks you where you ORIGINALLY from even if you say you were born in Sweden.
His point was this...
I’m black my wife is white..but our kids won’t be white..so therefore people will ask my kids the same fuckin question when they say we were born in Sweden...
Yeah but where do you come from originally?
To him this thing alone will always give his kids the impression that they don’t belong here..which is nothing but the truth...
He was like..Brother,I have a thick skin and I can handle that shit with a smile but I know that kids are so fragile when it comes to being accepted...and my kids will never feel that they belong here...
This made me pretty sad to be honest cuz I really love Sweden and I love my life in Sweden and the way I’ve been treated here.
And to be perfectly clear I never felt I’m a Swede but you know what..I never felt like I’m Serb and was born there...
My last name isn’t typical Serbian last name so,when war was about to happen in Serbia,and the nationalist were louder than ever..my English teacher asked me in front of the class...
Sandor..where do you come from...
I was like from Serbia Sir!
Him: Nope,Sandor is a Hungarian name,so you are not a Serb!
That comment hit me obviously pretty hard,cuz I went home to my dad,he was still around and asked,Dad,can I change my last name?
When he heard all about what happened at school he was like...listen,someone will always tell you that you don’t belong there..you can look like them,have the name like them,talk like them and walk like them..
Someone will always throw that shot on you!
Your last name is just as good as any other typical Serbian,and when you get older and wiser and you still feel this way..you change it to any fuckin name and last name you wish!
So,thanks dad for giving me an important life lesson..because I honestly never felt I belong anywhere 100% but I believe it’s because I’m an independent individual,not because I’m weird and that’s exactly how I process that thing!
So back to my friend,I felt really bad for him and I can totally relate to his point,because you don’t want your kids to come home from school asking you mom,why I’m not white so other kids like me.
And that shit is very sad,because we still don’t get how words can actually hurt!
Cuz I believe that most people who ask you,yeah but where you’re from originally,don’t do that to make feel like shit..most of them are just having a small talk...
But before in every normal and unharmful conversation people used to call black people N-people or colored..not to make them feel anything,it was just the way of talking...
Now we understand it was not okay..and as a person that lives in Sweden I say it’s also wrong to ask a person about their origins,until and if they say it by them self!
But I ask that question myself sometimes...so I know how normal that sounds in my head and I know I mean nothing bad with it,but still..I didn’t like how my friend felt so..I’ll need to change that shit...
I also feel very fortunate that I never felt that feeling of belonging to any group really,cuz it made me more resistant person I guess!
When I’m among Serbs..I have so many things in common but also a lot I don’t want to have in common!
I accepted so many Swedish ways of dealing with things ,but I will also never accept quite many more,that are also very Swedish!
Because I really don’t see myself as a Serb nor a Swede...I’m me.
It’s not much but it’s everything that makes me me❤️
Have a great weekend lovZ😘😘😘
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