Bad Sex in Marriage

Hey luvZ..what’s happening🤗🤗🤗

I have a couple of people that were telling me the same or similar stories about this subject so as an licensed marriage counselor and sexologist I decided to write my own opinion on this so maybe it’ll help maybe not...

So long story short my friends caught their partners jerking off to porn while not having sex with them.

You may assume that my friends weren’t particularly happy about this,but...maybe they were asking the wrong questions...🤔

First question I wanna suggest is..why dobwe watch porn in a first place when we have a pussy or a dick to fuck?

Most common answer is obvious really..

Because we want to see another naked body fuck and imagine we’re the ones who’s fuckin them..right...

So the next question I wanna ask is do you realize that some people have more and some people have less sex drive..generally?

The most common answer is yes ofc..right...

The third and final question is..why someone lies why can’t they just tell the truth?

The most common answer is that they lie because they’re afraid of hurting or pissing off someone..ok???

Ok,so with these answers I can start explaining my point of view here...

First of all,when you’re in a long relationship with someone it’s not a secret that you’re not getting super horny as when you guys first met and were fucking ten times a day,ok...

After a few years and maybe a few kids that fire naturally decreases..it’s human biology not a question of is someone bad,good,sexy,or whatever...

You gimme te hottest piece of ass person I’ll give you another one that got bored of fucking that person...it’s a natural way of it,that’s all...

But we as humans tend to believe that EVERYTHING is about us:)))

It’s not!

So after a period of time both partners sexual attraction decreases...but again they weren’t having the same level of that in a first place,remember????

So the horny one still has it in smaller amounts but the less horny one is on a groun floor level of it...

Now we all need sexual satisfaction..horny or not..we all need that...

So the less horny ones start avoiding sex with their horny partner but since they still want to feel sexual they go for porn...

So they can watch the simulation of fucking someone new which brings them that extra kick to get horny...

Again not because they’re bad people but because their basic needs...

Now remember your sex drive dropped from 10 to 5 which is still good...their sex drive went from 5 to 0,5 so they’re basically struggling to feel their fuckin heart beat...

Ok...what to do...that’s the most important thing to think...

Basically someone needs to help someone,ok..

Who’s going to help who???

Well when it comes to money a poor person cannot help the rich person but the other way around...

But in money world that’s just not going to happen for the most part IF...the rich person doesn’t feel compassion and empathy for that poor person...

In relationship the hornier one should help their partner but not because of compassion or emphaty...ok maybe that too..but most important reason in this case is...

LOVE ❤️ 

If you love that person,you will do whatever it takes to make them feel comfortable about all this...

How..first you need to acknowledge that your less hony partner is not evil or selfish but just less horny...and that has absolutely nothing to do with you...

Then you need to talk...

First about the fact you understand how they feel and that you’re not judging them but really understand them...

With that being said you need to make them believe you that you won’t get mad when they tell you exactly how they feel and what’s turning them on nowadays...

As soon as you open that chapter of your communication I promise you everything will start getting better...

Not perfect,not a fairytale but better..but you still need to work on stuff that are turning them on..

Checking out hot people together,watching porn together,using sex toys,lingerie,role play,WHATEVER...maybe even fuckin a third person together but let’s not go too radical here...🤣🤣🤣

So I don’t know if I made a lot of sense here but getting angry with a scared,confused and insecure person that you also hopefully live very much is just not very productive..actually not at all...

Instead,get your insecurities,and fears in place and start helping that someone who you choose to live your life with😘❤️💕

Have an amazing Sunday luvZ❤️❤️❤️